Hello I’m Jessica and I’m a product of surrogacy. The reason
I’ve decided to start blogging about children who have been conceived either
through surrogacy or sperm donations is because when I was trying to learn more
about my own history, I was quite surprised to discover the amount of websites
that can be found to promote agencies to assist parents in starting a family,
websites which offer huge sums of money to donors of sperm, eggs, and wombs.
However, there was a lack of information, resources or support for the children who have
been created using the above mentioned techniques.
My quest for more information began when I was a teenager
and knew I wasn’t getting told the truth about where I came from by the
family that I was growing up with. My adopted mother is South Korean, and my
biological father is American. They had attempted to convince me that I was
biologically related to both of them. However, I later came to find out that my
birth mom was Caucasian, therefore I did not have Asian genes and physically I
knew that the bill of goods that they attempted to sell me wasn’t possibly
true.
During my senior year of high school a medical professional who
felt that I deserved to know the truth about where I came from, provided me
with two pages of my medical records where my bio-dad and adopted mom let a
doctor know that I was a product of a traditional surrogacy. This is when my
world started to make a little bit more sense. This was when some of the
secrecy and subterfuge was broken. This was also the beginning of a nine year
search where I was lucky enough to find my birth mom and subsequently a huge
family that I feel is my family more then the one that I grew up in.
A lot of children of surrogacy and sperm donation are not
lucky enough to ever find out about their roots, they are considered lucky to
be told the truth if they get told.
I am not here to condemn the people who have participated in
this new way of starting families. (The sperm donors, egg donors, surrogates,
or the people who started their families through this avenue.) My purpose here
is to give a voice to those of us who have been brought into the world through
these techniques, and to hopefully give people who are considering starting a
family through these methods an ability to see what would be unforeseeable issues
that can be present. I would love to see couples who are considering these
methods to pause and ask themselves, is this really what is in the best
interest of a child? I would love to see people push for adoption reform to
allow the children who are already in this world a chance to be part of a
family. I would love for prospective parents to see that if they choose
surrogacy because of the genetic ties, the products of surrogacy still contend
with some of the same issues that adopted children have, and how even with the
genetic connection a parent may not be any closer to their child then if they
had adopted.
Thanks for coming to check out my blog!
Jess
Someone pointed out this blog to me in the midst of a discussion about surrogacy. As a parent of children through surrogacy, I just want to say that I am sorry the parents that raised you lied to you about where you came from. I pledge to always be honest to my kids about their roots. I will also strive to respect their opinions and feelings as they grow into adulthood. The only other thing I can do along the way is love them unconditionally and try to do my best as a parent.
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