Hello I’m Jessica and I’m a product of surrogacy. The reason I’ve decided to start blogging about children who have been conceived either through surrogacy or sperm donations is because when I was trying to learn more about my own history, I was quite surprised to discover the amount of websites that can be found to promote agencies to assist parents in starting a family, websites which offer huge sums of money to donors of sperm, eggs, and wombs. However, there was a lack of information, resources or support for the children who have been created using the above mentioned techniques.
My quest for more information began when I was a teenager and knew I wasn’t getting told the truth about where I came from by the family that I was growing up with. My adopted mother is South Korean, and my biological father is American. They had attempted to convince me that I was biologically related to both of them. However, I later came to find out that my birth mom was Caucasian, therefore I did not have Asian genes and physically I knew that the bill of goods that they attempted to sell me wasn’t possibly true.
During my senior year of high school a medical professional who felt that I deserved to know the truth about where I came from, provided me with two pages of my medical records where my bio-dad and adopted mom let a doctor know that I was a product of a traditional surrogacy. This is when my world started to make a little bit more sense. This was when some of the secrecy and subterfuge was broken. This was also the beginning of a nine year search where I was lucky enough to find my birth mom and subsequently a huge family that I feel is my family more then the one that I grew up in.
A lot of children of surrogacy and sperm donation are not lucky enough to ever find out about their roots, they are considered lucky to be told the truth if they get told.
I am not here to condemn the people who have participated in this new way of starting families. (The sperm donors, egg donors, surrogates, or the people who started their families through this avenue.) My purpose here is to give a voice to those of us who have been brought into the world through these techniques, and to hopefully give people who are considering starting a family through these methods an ability to see what would be unforeseeable issues that can be present. I would love to see couples who are considering these methods to pause and ask themselves, is this really what is in the best interest of a child? I would love to see people push for adoption reform to allow the children who are already in this world a chance to be part of a family. I would love for prospective parents to see that if they choose surrogacy because of the genetic ties, the products of surrogacy still contend with some of the same issues that adopted children have, and how even with the genetic connection a parent may not be any closer to their child then if they had adopted.
Thanks for coming to check out my blog!