Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. You can wrap it up in a silk freaking scarf. You can pretend these are not your children. You can say it is a gift or you donated your egg to the IM. But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. I dont care if you think I am not your child, what about what I think! Maybe I know I am your child.When you exchange something for money it is called a commodity.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Documentary by The Center for Biothethics and Culture on Surrogacy




 The Center for Bioethics and Culture has released a new documentary about surrogacy.



Here are a couple of the reviews for this documentary

Jennifer Lahl’s eye-opening interviews with surrogates, doctors, psychologists, and advocates across the political spectrum explain why surrogacy is either illegal or far more limited in other industrialized countries. Two NOW officials weigh in on the commodification of the financially strapped women who become surrogates and the widely ignored increased risk of maternal death in gestational surrogacy. Surrogates describe medical and emotional nightmares for themselves and the children involved; one who was allowed to visit the child to whom she’d given birth when the little girl was five months old describes finding that the until then constantly collicky infant did nothing but sleep peacefully on the surrogate’s chest the whole time she was there. Until then, she says, “I at no point in time thought about how it would affect her.” Perhaps most sobering, though, are the words of a young woman who was the result of such an arrangement: “Most of the consideration is for the adults” who can afford to effectively buy their children, she says, exploiting both the women hired to bear them and the children whose “foundation of existence is a contract, and money.”
  — Melinda Henneberger, Washington Post

Breeders takes a hard look at the often unacknowledged bioethical complexities, and individual and societal risks, associated with the global rise of commercial surrogacy. Its thoughtful analysis and interviews with a range of surrogates, family building brokers, and health professionals make important connections between those who purchase assisted reproductive technology services, the poor women who exchange their wombs for cash, and the impact third-party reproduction has on children and families.
  — Miriam Zoll, author of Cracked Open: Liberty, Fertility and the Pursuit of High-Tech Babies

Those who may doubt the truth of the old adage that “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” will have their doubts erased by this remarkable film. It powerfully indicts an industry that promises the infertile the joy of a baby but treats women as breeders and children as products. What began with laudable intentions ushered in a form of dehumanization. Jennifer Lahl has done the nation a great service by drawing attention to it.
  — Robert P. George, McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence and Director of the James Madison Program in American Ideals and Institutions, Princeton University

“Breeders” may strike some as a harsh label for the women who go through a pregnancy for another to whom they will give the babies (if) born. But seeing this film exposes the very problematic aspects of this highly commercialized — and seriously unregulated — global activity that need to be understood to have a true picture of this bit of the “baby business” and parenting. It should be required viewing for all of us, not only those taking part in these exchanges.
  — Abby Lippman, PhD, Professor Emerita McGill University; Research Associate, Simone de Beauvoir Institute, Concordia University, and longtime feminist activist with special interests in women’s health and women’s health policies. She has one foot based in academia and the other, the foot she favors, involves her in social justice and reproductive activism with community groups in Montreal and beyond its borders.


If you or anyone you know is considering using surrogacy to start your family this is a must watch. Currently the film is on sale for pre-order. Go to http://breeders.cbc-network.org/  to get it.

Friday, August 9, 2013

What are the rights of donor conceived persons? Newman, Buchalter, and Blankenhorn


Alana Newman and Ralph Buchalter join David Blankenhorn to explore the intricate ethical and moral issues surrounding third party reproduction and the anonymous practices of an industry often hidden from public view. Along the way they explore the conflict between different narratives of personal and family identity, and importance of knowing and coming to terms with how our families come into being.

Is it a Right to have be able to have children

By having sperm donation, egg donation and surrogacy available to those who can afford the services there is an argument forming by the Donor Conception industry that yes, it is a person's right to have children. When that view is taken the child's wants and needs are automatically placed as secondary to those of the parents.
Recently as I've been voicing my opinion about Donor Conception I've been getting asked well what do you think about adoption, it's another scenario where there are large sums of money being exchanged for a family to acquire a child. To me there is a HUGE difference between the two. That lays with the intention. When it comes to adoption there is a NEED for the child who is already in the world to be in a home. Whereas when utilizing donor conception technologies we are meeting the perspective parents WANT. In both cases the child will be split up from the biological family, but in the world of donor conception the split from the entire biological family is INTENTIONAL.
It should be a right to know  where we come from and who our biological parents are. I more especially believe this when it comes to the donor conception world due to the fact that every adult involved is a willing participant. When you look at the states that do have any legislation towards surrogacy, no state has given the product being the created the right to know their origin. I believe that the intended parents a lot of time have fear that by allowing their child to have a relationship with a surrogate in particular what if the surrogate feels that the child is theirs and sues back for custody. (I do personally know of instances where women I know who have done traditionally surrogacies have regretted their decision and sued back for joint custody of their child.) Again to protect the intended parents I believe that's why there is nothing out their legislatively to abolish the anonymity of the donor conception.
I recently read on a surrogacy board, a surrogate said that she at times wondered how her surrogate child would feel about the financial transaction, but then she stops herself by acknowledging that the child wouldn't be here without the financial transaction that took place. To me that proves the point the the child conceived through donor conception is a commodity up for sale. How do we as a society determine at what point it is wrong for money to exchange hands for a child? If a surrogacy arrangement is made during the gestation of the child and papers are signed then it is considered human trafficking (at least by California's laws). However, if those same papers in California are signed before the sperm and egg meet then it's ok. As a product of donor conception to me it's irrelevant as to when the paperwork got signed, that part of the process no effect on me compared to other aspects of how the surrogacy arrangement was handled. If a child is already in this world and a parent doesn't want them it's illegal for them to sell their child but I'm sure that someone who wants a child would be willing to pay. I believe that it is still selling a human being as a product when there is money that exchanges hands. In Canada they have abolished all forms of payment when it comes to sperm and egg donation, and only allow altruistic donations.  By answering yes, that it should be a right for anyone to be a parent, we further turn the child into a commodity.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Study done in the UK highlighting the psychological dificulties for children of donor conception

Surrogate-born children are more likely to suffer depression than those carried by their real mother
By Emma Innes
  • Children struggle to cope with the idea that they were carried by a woman other than their mother
  • But have less difficulty with the thought that they are not biologically related to the people bringing them up
  • Children carried by a surrogate are more likely to display behavioural and emotional problems
Children born to a surrogate mother have more emotional difficulties than those carried by their biological mother, according to new research.
But children have less problems coping with the idea that they were conceived using a donor egg and sperm and are not related to their parents.
The study suggests that children find it more difficult to handle the idea that they were carried by another woman than that they are not biologically related to their parents.
For the study, which was carried out by the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge, the researchers followed 30 families who had used a surrogate, 31 that had used egg donation, 35 that had used donor sperm, and 53 that had conceived naturally.
They surveyed the mothers when their children were three, seven and ten in an attempt to establish how well adjusted the children were.
Today reports that the children conceived using donor eggs and sperm were as well adjusted as those conceived naturally, but that children carried by a woman other than their mother struggled more.
Professor Susan Golombok who led the research explained to Today that ‘signs of adjustment problems could be behaviour problems, such as aggressive or antisocial behaviour, or emotional problems, such as anxiety or depression’.
She added: ‘Adolescence is a potentially difficult for those born through egg or sperm donation or surrogacy.
‘We hope to revisit the children next year when they are 14 years-old, as issues to do with identity become important in adolescence. This is also a time when relationships with parents can become more difficult.’
The findings come a time when surrogacy is increasing rapidly.
According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, the number of babies conceived in the U.S. using a donated egg increase by more than 30 per cent between 2004 and 2011.
In the same time period, the number of births involving a surrogate rose by 200 per cent from 530 to 1,179.
It is not known how many births result from sperm donations but it is thought there could be between 30,000 and 60,000 a year in the U.S.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2344362/Surrogate-born-children-likely-suffer-depression-carried-real-mother.html#ixzz2YZCyUJmS
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http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3210890/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23176601

As someone who is searching for studies done about surrogacy, this is the first one that I've seen. I'll be interested to see what information they find as the children of the surrogacies get older. It seems as though it would be prudent for the District of Columbia, as well as any state trying to pass legislation legalizing surrogacy that they should first be doing studies on the products of surrogacy already in the world. 

Monday, July 8, 2013

The common thread between all donor conceived

This year I've slowly been getting in touch with more and more people who like me are donor conceived. Where I see some of the most emotion rolling through is in the desire to know their biological parent.

I remember when I found my birth/biological mother, being asked several times by a person close to her what my motive was. What did I want from her. It strikes me that if I had been a product of a traditional adoption that it wouldn't even be a consideration, it would be understood why someone would want to know where they come from. I still feel so lucky that I did find my biological mom, and the whole family because in finding them I understand myself so much more clearly now. My heart goes out to my fellow donor conceived who have been looking and are still looking for their biological parents.

For any couples who are looking at sperm donation, or surrogacy and you feel that if you have a child through these modern technologies, I urge you to watch the Anonymous Father's Day DVD. It will show you that even in cases where a child is told early and often, it does not bring complete peace. The child will still desire to know their roots. The only thing that may mitigate is the trust issue that will develop when a product of donor conception finds out that they were lied to their whole life, by the people they should have been able to trust the most.