Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. You can wrap it up in a silk freaking scarf. You can pretend these are not your children. You can say it is a gift or you donated your egg to the IM. But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. I dont care if you think I am not your child, what about what I think! Maybe I know I am your child.When you exchange something for money it is called a commodity.

Friday, August 9, 2013

What are the rights of donor conceived persons? Newman, Buchalter, and Blankenhorn

Alana Newman and Ralph Buchalter join David Blankenhorn to explore the intricate ethical and moral issues surrounding third party reproduction and the anonymous practices of an industry often hidden from public view. Along the way they explore the conflict between different narratives of personal and family identity, and importance of knowing and coming to terms with how our families come into being.


  1. what are your opinions about co-parenting? Here's a gay dad talking about it:

    "Reconciling being gay and wanting
    to be a dad was a major issue for me. I’d always loved kids and the possibility of not being a parent was a major source of unhappiness. I can’t quite remember when I decided that I wouldn’t let it stop me but I do remember the relief when it dawned on me that I could still be a dad.

    For me being a biological parent was really important but I never really considered surrogacy. It was never really an option because of the fact that I really wanted my children to have a full and proper relationship with their mother and I wasn’t in a relationship with anyone to share

    the huge demands of being a parent with. For me it was really clear from the beginning what would work best: an extended family where I would be daddy to my children and share the emotional and financial responsibilities with a lesbian couple.The children would live with their mums but I would have lots of contact with them. I’m a lucky man – I now have three beautiful children in the extended family that I’d dreamt of."

    1. I apologize for the late response. I believe that the traditional family of a mom and a dad is the best for a child (for many reasons, which I won't break down here). And I don't believe in donor conception. If there was a child needing a home who didn't have one I could see a situation like this being better then a child remaining in the foster care system or having to live in a group home.

    2. Oh shoot, lol. I think you misunderstood. Co-parenting or partnered-parenting is NOT donor donation, by ANY means. Partnered-parenting is when couples and/or singletons come together to reproduce with each other and raise the children together. The kids are born into the world usually with two or more parents many adopted/biological relatives and many sets of grandparents. They aren't paid for, traded, given as a "favor to a friend" or separated from a birthparent, they are born into a community of people, and are usually top priority.

      Don't get me wrong, Jakiam, I totally support you and your fight for donor-conceived rights. However, there are lots of gay/infertile/single men and women out there who want biological families and there has to be some sort of compromise. Do you think you could give partner-parenthood a look? And possible consider other cultures where children grow up fine in similar multi-parental environments too? I really want to help you! But, if you don't have an alternative, many people may stop listening to you. You have to keep in mind that adoptees are sharing how they feel about being sold by industries too. A gay/single/infertile prospective parent may feel helpless, and would possible just opt for gamete donation being there isn't any way to get around the possible suffering and emotional scarring of the offspring, whether adopted or donated.

      I WON'T stop supporting you, but others may.

      If you decide you like it, do you think you could perhaps write a blog post encouraging this as a alternative to gamete/womb donation?


      thanks! :)

  2. I think a home raised by two lesbian moms is best. I home with a male and female parent separates the kid from one of the mothers..

    Perhaps those male/female partners could foster children who have no better option than an inferior parenting situation.