Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

Quote from the "Son of a Surrogate" Blog

It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want. You can wrap it up in a silk freaking scarf. You can pretend these are not your children. You can say it is a gift or you donated your egg to the IM. But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. I dont care if you think I am not your child, what about what I think! Maybe I know I am your child.When you exchange something for money it is called a commodity.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Taking on reproductive justice by Rebecca Liaw, Business Intern

 The author of this article is writing about a lecture she attended given by Dr. Hille Haker at LMU. The topic was on the ethics and morality of assisted reproduction. There is definitely a growing voice out there questioning these issues, seeing this restores my faith in people!

Points that the author made that I wanted to highlight are:

"Did you know an egg donor can make between $5,000 and $10,000 for an embryo egg “donation?” Young women, particularly those struggling to pay college bills, are scouted for in magazines and newspapers to donate their eggs or be surrogate mothers."

" As Haker said, egg donors and surrogate mothers make the autonomous choice to offer their services, but they often are ot aware of the severe psychological trauma that can arise from anything from birth complications to having to finally turn over their child to even the nagging thoughts that arise years later."

"These procedures, in theory, should be freeing; the ability to pre-screen for health issues allows for parents to pick and choose which pregnancies are essentially “worth it.”" I'd like to point out that this industry increases the number of abortions that are performed. Some are due to the genetic screening, but it's also due to the fact that too many embryos are transferred over to surrogates which causes a need to selective fetal reduction to ensure a safe pregnancy. This is done to ensure a higher success rate of pregnancy since the process is costly. I won't state my personal views on abortion, but should we be creating situations intentionally for abortions? 

"To paraphrase Dr. Haker, as a society, we have failed the parents and children of our world because we have forgotten to acknowledge and forgive. We should remember the mothers and fathers, weary yet hopeful, waiting in the glow of anticipated parenthood for their children. We need to recognize surrogate mothers, most often young women at the ends of their rope, but with enough strength and grace to offer themselves and their children. And we need to remember the children who, from whatever circumstances of surrogacy, adoption and assistance, will grow into young men and women who might desire to find their origins of their conception into being.
When society overlooks actual people in favor of “high” morals and standards, that is when we have failed as a people."

This is where I don't fall o the same page as Dr. Haker. I think we as a society need to keep the high morals. The high morals are what would keep children safe. This is not at all to say that I don't empathize with the parents who are struggling to start there family. But as I've stated many times in my blog, please look to traditional adoption, or being a foster parent. Children are not a right, they are a blessing. When we put the message out their that we are entitled to have children, we are demeaning the rights of the people who are conceived this way to know their biology. One person's right should not outweigh another. 

For the full article please follow the link below.



  1. I would go one step further and suggest not to look at traditional adoption as, more often than not, it is fraught with the same genetic confusion that donor conceived people experience, particularly newborn adoption. The majority of American adoptees cannot access their original birth certificates and may never know the truth about their biological origins.

    1. I definitely agree that traditional adoption is extremely fraught with their own issues. Someone I met this week worded what I have been wanting to say much better then I. Adoption wasn't instituted to provide parents a child but rather, the child a home. Because, in theory that's in the best interest of the child. Whereas with Donor Conception children are being created to respond a want. So long as there are adults putting their wants ahead of what's in the best interest of a child, adoption will continue to have it's flaws and women and children will be turned into commodities.

  2. I just want to let you know you are on an extremely important cause of which needs to be dealt with! You are not the only one, it is a great blessing to hear from those who have grown up in circumstances our society has deemed as healthy and of which we entirely need to understand it is unnatural and therefore is unhealthy to a child. Here is another case in the courts now https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/quartet-of-truth-adult-children-of-gay-parents-testify-against-same-sex-mar

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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